• Chas

My Parents Won’t Let Me Go Away for College

Dear Chas,

I have been accepted into both local college and out-of-state college, but would prefer to go to a school out-of-state. My dilemma is my parents. They are very strict and are not open to the idea of me not being close to home. I want to venture off, have some freedom, learn from my own mistakes, and prove to my parents that I am trustworthy, but they won’t budge. I have been rewarded scholarships, so financially, we won’t notice a different either way. How do I convince my parents to let me pursue my own dreams and begin making my own decisions as an adult?

Sincerely, Stuck At Home

Dear Stuck At Home,

Wow. This is tough. I think you need to approach this topic as an adult. There is no need for debate, whining, nagging, complaining, or comparing your situation to your classmates. Do not bring up, “But Sally’s parents are letting HER go out of state!”, that will get you nowhere quick.

My suggestion is to sit down with them, maybe even with a counselor at your school, and have a mature conversation about your reasoning to want to leave your hometown. What does this school provide that in-state schools don’t? Do they have a better program for your major? Do they have a better safety rate? Find genuine and positive aspects that YOUR PARENTS will be interested in. It sounds like they are just worried, which is normal, and they are kind of controlling, also normal. You need to play to their concerns. If they are most concerned about you not having a trusted adult around, see if they would be open to doing a campus tour and start emailing the colleges’ counselors immediately. Build relationships with the people who will be looking out for you so your parents know that you will be in good hands.

Show your respect and compassion to their opinions and their point-of-view and remain neutral as best as you can. This may be a slow process of gaining their approval, but slow and steady wins the race.

Good luck, congratulations on your acceptances, and please keep us posted!!!

Sincerely, Chas

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