Updated: Mar 8
Pregnancy: First Trimester
Hello friends! Long time no talk!
Well, it’s been about 3 months since I’ve been on here and let me tell you…Things have CHANGED! We’re pregnant!! I have missed blogging and writing and connecting with all of you, but lord they were not lying about that morning sickness nonsense. I honestly needed 3 months to process, go through my emotions, and lay in bed with saltines. Thank God Ivan isn’t the jealous type because Saltines and I have gotten pretty damn close.
So, let’s take it back a bit and catch up, shall we?!
*Rewind back to January of 2018*
Once the New Year hit, Ivan and I knew we wanted to start trying for a little one, but one thing had to change… I had to come off my medication. This was something we wanted to keep private as we knew speculation would begin and we didn’t want the added bonus pressure of people inquiring on how things are going… if ya know what I mean…
Getting off Lexapro was horrific for me. Not because I instantly relapsed, I didn’t thankfully, but the withdrawal was the worst I’ve experienced yet, and I’ve experienced a few. I came off too quickly apparently and was dealing with consistent nausea (should’ve taken notes), “electric shocks” in my brain, and also random loss of feeling in my legs. Every few minutes I would get a wave of numbness in my knees and kept feeling like my legs were giving out. I’m sure I looked insane. This lasted for about a month and a half which is nuts to me.
In addition, I also had to come off birth control so we didn’t really start trying until February/March. I was finally on track again and actually stood a chance of getting pregnant…which I did! We got pregnant in April of 2018 and I am now approaching my 14th week.
Since we were actively trying to get pregnant, pregnancy tests became a frequently stocked item in our house. My anxiety got the best of me and I was using those things like they were being discontinued. I was 8 DPO (days past ovulation) and my period was expected to come in about 3-4 days according to my handy-dandy app, Ovia!
Well, I woke up and the wait was killing me. I took a pregnancy test and it was a definite negative. I knew it would be, so I went about my day as any another. That night I was debating with myself whether I would take another test on day 9. I decided to just wait to see if I got my period, like any other normal, non-anxious woman would, and went to bed. I woke up the next morning and my gut was YELLING at me to take a test. I always listen to my gut, especially since I have IBS, and took the test and got the FAINTEST line ever.
I immediately broke out into a salsa dance and had no one to share this with. I knew a line was a line and it probably meant it was positive, but Ivan was at work and I wanted him to know before I told my parents. I stood there dumbfounded and decided I needed to try another brand, but of course, I was all out! I used all of them up stupidly before a result was even possible!
I ran to Target, bought every brand they had, got an amazing cheer and reaction from the cashier, and raced home. I took the test again and this time the line was even darker!
So, being the romantic that I am, I texted Ivan 6 times with pictures and profanity and congratulating him on a job well done, but like I said earlier, he was at work and wouldn’t read the texts for another 2 hours.
Thanks to my lack of seriousness in life, his first response was accusing me of a prank, thanks babe. Which then turned to speculation and contained excitement because he worked in a very small office. I had 5 hours until he would get home and I had to avoid my mom at all costs which is extremely hard to do. We’re Lucy and Ethel for crying out loud!
So, Ivan got home and we decided to wait, take another test the next day (10 DPO), make sure it got darker, and then we would go to the doctor for more confirmation before we told our families… Now that I’m typing this, I think my OCD/Anxiety is rubbing off on Ivan…
Long story short we told our families, the doctor confirmed it and I ended up with a total of ELEVEN positive pregnancy tests, because you can never be too sure about anything in life anymore.
Since I found out so early, I really didn’t have many symptoms for the first few weeks (weeks 3-5). I had some cramping similar to menstrual cramps which is such a trip, some anxiety, and major Obsessive Googling Disorder (the need to google anything and everything).
After being scolded by my brothers, parents, husband, and therapist about my obsession with Google, I can now happily say I have cut ties and we are no longer friends.
What caught me off guard the most was the instant fear and worry that I wasn’t ready, which caused some minor depression. I was so scared, still am, of not being ready for this next chapter and if I’m going to be completely honest, of losing my freedom. Thankfully the mommy community I am building is SO STRONG and Instagram has blessed me with new connections who have reassured me that everything I have felt is normal which has helped me get out the of blues!
So enough of that, let’s get into the good part. NAUSEA! Holy shit balls, the all-day constant nausea was INSANE and this new superpower-strength sense of smell will be the death of me. Dogs, dog food, and pet stores are my worst enemy right now. I can’t stand the smell and if I happen to get a whiff… Instant dry heaving. It’s soooo cute! In addition to, the food aversions have been nice too.
Carbs and cheese have been all I can manage which is lovely for the hips, but in all honesty, I’ve had it a lot easier compared to other women and I have to give a GINORMOUS shout out to any mom out there. Whatever your pregnancy was like you are a strong, bad ass woman and I am in complete awe of you.
So… Girl or Boy?
Ivan has 5 brothers, and I have 2. He has lots of nephews and a few nieces so I figured we were bound to have a boy. I would have bet money on it, as would have majority of our families, but jokes on us because we are being blessed with a beautiful baby girl, Shay Amia, and I CAN NOT wait to meet my little bestie.
I am SO sorry for being MIA but thank you for still supporting this blog and for the love! I can’t thank you enough! So here’s to this next chapter!
For my mama’s out there, what was your pregnancy like? What was your best advice received?
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