• Chas

Why Are Women So Competitive?

Dear Chas,

It seems like throughout each job I have had, my female co-workers are all so fake and competitive with one another. They are either catty, condescending, or self-promoting and it is all at the expense of others’ feelings. I was hoping during my young adult life I would meet likeminded women and build friendships that could withstand the test of time, but I feel stupid for even thinking that that was even a possibility. Why is it always a competition? Why can’t we all win together?

Sincerely, Where Is The Empowerment

Dear Where Is The Empowerment,

All of us women have experienced this at some point or another. We were either on the receiving end or we were handing out the cattiness, but we have all been in this situation. I think it’s important, especially now, to realize where this competitive-drive stems from and how we can all contribute to ending the “gender beef”, if you will. Specifically in the workplace, most industries are male-dominated. As women, we are constantly having to fight to prove our worth to men… Especially when we are trying to climb the ladder of success. The higher you get, the more testosterone you deal with. It becomes a dog-eat-dog situation. Majority of the time I don’t think it’s personal, it’s just the consequences of women not having enough confidence in their abilities which can cause self-doubt, envy, and jealousy.

To counteract this, we need to empower each other as you are aware of. The gender equality movement is growing rapidly and you can contribute to it. The best way is to lead by example. Start complimenting and motivating other women. Encourage their internal power to shine. Over time, they will realize how different their actions have been in comparison to yours and there will be a shift. Build up your tribe and work together to succeed. Also, stand up to harassment or rude behavior, from men or women. Be vocal about what is right and what is wrong. Nothing can change unless we talk about it.  Last but not least, find your own mentor/role model. See how they are using their voice and power to make a change and do the same. We all have to hold ourselves accountable for our actions, or lack of actions. As the queen said, “Who run the world? Girls”

Sincerely, Chas

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